Navigating Gastro As A Single Mother
• Overflowing nappy bins and dishes you can't stand up long enough to get done.
• Feeling the absence of village and tribe more keenly than ever before.
• Cleaning up your own vomit and trying to read the book your daughter brings to you as you sit on the toilet.
• Never once denying your sick 2yo kisses, because a) her kisses are the best thing in the world and b) your heart has hurt more than you thought possible watching her in pain and unwell, so even though you know there's a high chance you'll get sick too (spoiler- you do) you don't regret a single one
• Coming to the realisation that a core part of being a solo parent is that you aren't anybody's number 1 priority. That's nobody's fault, it's just a fact. Nobody is going to cancel work or stay up through the night with you, nobody is willing to risk getting in the trenches and possibly get sick alongside you. Everyone has their own lives, their own responsibilities and significant others, and there's no anger or blame in that. As much as it might hurt and you feel the vulnerability in that truth, it simply is.
• The IMMENSE guilt of not being able to play or really be present with your little one, especially when they're agitatedly trying to pull you up to stand and dance but you know that if you get vertical things aren't going to be pretty. Trying to have compassion for yourself and for them and reminding yourself that it won't be like this forever and as much as you feel like this is going to scar them for life, it really isn't and they know you love them more than life itself.
(originally posted on instagram 12/03/2021)